[Content warning: I’m about to talk about my personal weight loss. I’ll do my best not to repeat the same fatphobic crap you’ve seen before, but at the same time, be warned that I am dissatisfied with my own weight and have been working on changing both the weight and the dissatisfaction.] I’ve always been on the heavy side. I learned the word “percentile” from the pediatric growth charts in my childhood doctor’s office, in the context of discovering that I was always above the 75th percentile in weight for my age (though not always in height). The first time I ever remember being ashamed of my own body was in grade school, sitting on the flat plastic seat of a swingset and noticing how my thighs squashed against each other; from then on I disliked wearing the navy blue uniform shorts my school required in warm weather, even though the navy blue slacks were hot and heavy in the spring and early summer in the muggy Ohio River valley. I remember not being able to run as fast as other kids, or as long, but at the same time I wasn’t prodigiously strong like some of the other oversized kids in my class. As I got older, I got into better shape (thanks first to martial arts, and then to cross-country running; I wasn’t particularly spectacular at either, but I was good enough). Cross-country in particular was the refuge of my overachieving circle of friends during our high school years, when we decided that we should probably do some sort of sport, but needed to find one without an overly onerous time commitment. My undergraduate years, however, were not great for me as far as my weight was concerned. I stopped exercising, and between the dining hall and the late-night house of pizza across the street, my freshman fifteen (ha!) was more like a freshman eighty-three. Eventually I found myself a comically stereotypical systems administrator (beard, ponytail, cargo pants, paunch encased in black t-shirt). The ponytail was the first to go, and the glasses came to replace it, but the paunch stayed throughout the years. So what? …